An impending date is approaching that I am dreading. January 1. Our due date. I said after the miscarriage and I quote, "If I'm not pregnant by the time our due date rolls around I might be seriously depressed." And here we are. This month is our last chance before I will see how I'll feel. We should know by then if we are pregnant or not, but don't blame us if we don't share on here that soon. I honestly thought by this time we would be on our way to being parents. And like I said, maybe we are, but it is a mix bag of emotions right now. I don't want to get my hopes up, because what if we aren't. But I don't want to think about not being pregnant because then I will have to face January 1and not be pregnant, and that worries me. I'm also a little scared that if I am pregnant what if I don't get excited because I'm scared about what will happen? Will I ever be able to accept and be excited? I guess every pregnant woman has those same fears, so it isn't out of the ordinary. The countdown is upon us. In less than two week we'll know. So we'll see.