After I wrote the blog "Distracted" back in April I never had to make a decision if I wanted to start Clomid because I was already pregnant. A pregnancy test never registered that I was pregnant so my doctor put me on Provera to kick-start my period. I took it (the Provera), then after waiting two weeks, even though it should have made me start in 5-7 days, they did a blood test. Guess what? I was pregnant the whole time.
So the past two weeks have felt like that situation all over again. Of course I want to be pregnant, but I was also freaking out that if it started the same way as last time that it might end the same way too, and I definitely don't want to go through that again. So I was freaking out. I was upset that my doctor wanted to put me back on Provera so soon. I was hoping that if I wasn't pregnant I would start on my own. Well I did, and it sucked. It officially confirmed that no, I was (am) not pregnant.
I still don't know why I was two weeks late and that to me is the most frustrating part about all of this. The not knowing. Not know what is going on with my body. I know I can't control everything, but at least I could know what is going on. So now we are two weeks behind where we could have been into my next cycle. And when you go month-to-month and the next month feels really far away. So waiting two additional weeks is hell.
So going forward here's the plan. Tim and I have one more month to "try" on our own. That was the original timeline my doctor put in place after our miscarriage. She wanted us to "try" on our own for three months. If I did not get pregnant on the fourth month she would put me on Clomid, a fertility drug. It might seem soon but I've really had since April to think about it and my decision now is much more clear than in April. I am going to do it. Definitely not because I want to put synthetic hormones in my body, but because I want to know what is going on with my body. I'm not sure the exact process but I know I will take a pill for 5-7 days at the beginning of my cycle. They will at some point do an ultrasound to make sure I have follicles, they will make sure those follicles turn into viable eggs and they will make sure that I ovulate. With checking all of those steps along the way there are two things that can happen: 1. It will all work great and like it supposed to (I still might not get pregnant, but at least we will knows things are working) 2. One of the steps won't work as it should and we can pinpoint what might be happening during my cycle.
|Me wearing the OV Watch|
What is it?
The OV-Watch knows that your cycles are not consistent from period to period (which I definitely noticed when testing it list last time), and using microscopic samples of your own skin perspiration the OV-Watch has been clinical proven to provide accurate predictions of your entire fertile cycle. More important is the fact that the OV-Watch provides us four full days advance notice of ovulation and those four days have been clinically proven to be the best days to have intercourse leading to conception.
Yes, I pulled that from their website. One thing they also say that resonates with me is that "Power is Knowledge." To quote the site: "Power brings confidence with less stress. Now you can put the power of an FDA-cleared, patented, technologically advanced ovulation predictor literally on your wrist. The OV Watch will provide you the knowledge that will provide you the highest probability of getting pregnant! More knowledge, less stress, better results."
I know I might not be able to control what is happening, but at least I can know what is happening.
So how does it work?
Researchers in the late 50s and early 60s noted that numerous salts (chloride, sodium, potassium) in a woman’s sweat fluctuated in relation to the menstrual cycle. Chloride levels are low at the start of the menstrual cycle and peak three times during the cycle. Using a patented biosensor, OV-Watch detects a baseline chloride ion level for each woman and then accurately predicts ovulation based on the timing of the first peak. The OV-Watch detects the chloride surge 3 days prior to the estrogen surge, 4 days prior to the LH surge and 5 days prior to ovulation, making it an earlier predictor of ovulation than any other chemical surge during the month. For women trying to conceive, knowing the days before ovulation not only lowers the stress level for her and her partner, but it increases her chances of getting pregnant.
To read more about visit their website: http://www.ovwatch.com/